Fear of food

I like food. Some foods I like quite a bit. So the past three weeks have been extremely odd for me. I got the flu, and my stomach never really recovered. I'm fine as long as I eat bland foods (cereals, breads, bananas, yogurts, rice, a bit of mild cheese or an egg, poached or boiled meats, and that sort of thing). But anything spicy, or greasy, or anything like a raw vegetable, and I'm miserable and sick.

This certainly keeps me away from most restaurant food!

I'm taking lactobacillus supplements and gradually introducing small amounts of "real" (or surreal, in some cases) food.

This experience has given me a completely new perspective on food.

First of all, most of us are very rarely hungry, in the sense that we've burned up available fuel and are starting to draw on our bodies' reserves. But that happened to me a few times...I didn't get hungry, but I certainly felt exhausted.

I didn't get hungry because I have a pretty strong aversion to food after the flu experience. That was another revelation. I didn't realize that an active aversion to food could psychologically overpower years of liking food. Now I see certain foods (like tomato sauce) and cringe.

I am finding myself having to remind myself to eat, and to make sure I'm getting things like potassium and calcium.

By the way, if anyone thinks this is a good way to lose weight, it's certainly not. It robs you of the energy you need to work out and maintain fat-burning muscle. I have been able to do moderate exercise, but noticed at the dance festival this weekend that I needed to eat carbs and a little protein every two hours to keep moving. And even then, it seemed as if my balance was a bit off.